scam?
Is it a
The Machine
They don’t believe in intuition. Not really. That would imply trust… in people, in judgment, in the unquantifiable. And that is far too inefficient.
They believe in data. Not the kind that informs decisions. The kind that replaces them.
Everything starts with a questionnaire. Simple enough on the surface. A few questions. A few clicks. A harmless entry point. But behind it sits something much more… decisive.
An algorithm.
It doesn’t just interpret answers. It translates them into value. Not clinical value. Not customer need. Monetary value.
Each response moves you through an invisible funnel. Each answer narrows your path. And eventually, the system decides something for you: what you are worth.
Not as a person.
As a purchase.
No options. The system has already chosen the one the data says you will most likely accept. The one that maximizes the outcome.
It’s amazing what people will accept when something is described as being designed for them. Even when it was actually designed… around them.
The system doesn’t allow deviation.
The role isn’t to advise. It is to execute.
And the data, they love presenting it. Slides filled with charts. Color-coded segments that turn human behavior into something tidy and predictable.
Pragmatic. Seemingly intelligent. Optimized. And in many ways, it was.
But when you build a system that decides what someone will buy before they ever speak to a human… you’re not running a service.
You’re running a game.
And the only question that matters in a game like that is: who knows the rules?
See the work in photos
The OG "kiss cam" executive scandal
Spent years passing off the work of a female subordinate as his own. Gets overly excited for any excuse to wear a wig.
That's just the tip..
Little lion man..
An unsolicited dick pic from a male coworker in a work WhatsApp chat wasn't on my bingo card... ever..
and yet here we are.
Sleeps with employees.
Testimonials
What people say
"The pros are used to con."...
"It makes sense that you sell hearing aids, because you don't listen."
"If you do not drink the Kool-Aid, you are sidelined — often reassigned to worse lead pools without being told, then gaslit into believing poor outcomes are your fault."
Glassdoor
December 15, 2025
This company gives me the vibes of the movie "Boiler Room," just modified to be a work-from-home opportunity. I walked away from feeling slimy working here, to getting back to operating with integrity. Sleaziest organization award goes to..."
Glassdoor
August 14, 2025
"Binge drinking in the office into the wee hours of a Thursday night is not culture."
Glassdoor
December 29, 2024
Glassdoor
January 23, 2026
A playlist curated during peak absurdity
You petty
The playlist was the pressure valve. The documentation was the strategy. Both necessary. Only one of them is on Spotify.
You Petty | Rico Richie, Snootie Wild
IDGAF | Dua Lipa
thank u, next | Ariana Grande
Petty Squad | Star Keisha
Fuck You | CeeLo Green
I Don’t Fuck With You | Big Sean, E-40
Manchild | Sabrina Carpenter
Soy Peor | Bad Bunny
Petty | Snow Tha Product
Smile | Lily Allen
P E To The TTY (I’m Petty) | Dubskie
You’re So Vain | Carly Simon
A collection of stories from chatty skeletons
Truth stranger than fiction
I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart.
The expensive FAFO
In a functioning organization, a compliance concern from a trusted employee is a gift. You fix the problem before it becomes a lawsuit. You thank the person. You move on. This was not a functioning organization.
What Happens When You Give a Bully a VP Title
The playground
The kid with the magnifying glass burning ants grows up. He just gets a company email address and twelve direct reports.
Four Days, One AirBnB, Zero Functioning Adults
The hackathon chronicles
They called it innovation. The broken furniture called it something else entirely. A dispatch from the frat house that filed a BCG deliverable on Friday morning.
LFG.
No NDA.
Receipts
Retained.