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scam?

Is it a

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The Machine

They don’t believe in intuition. Not really. That would imply trust… in people, in judgment, in the unquantifiable. And that is far too inefficient.

They believe in data. Not the kind that informs decisions. The kind that replaces them.

Everything starts with a questionnaire. Simple enough on the surface. A few questions. A few clicks. A harmless entry point. But behind it sits something much more… decisive.

An algorithm.

It doesn’t just interpret answers. It translates them into value. Not clinical value. Not customer need. Monetary value.

Each response moves you through an invisible funnel. Each answer narrows your path. And eventually, the system decides something for you: what you are worth.

Not as a person.

As a purchase.

No options. The system has already chosen the one the data says you will most likely accept. The one that maximizes the outcome.

It’s amazing what people will accept when something is described as being designed for them. Even when it was actually designed… around them.

The system doesn’t allow deviation.

The role isn’t to advise. It is to execute.

And the data, they love presenting it. Slides filled with charts. Color-coded segments that turn human behavior into something tidy and predictable.

Pragmatic. Seemingly intelligent. Optimized. And in many ways, it was.

But when you build a system that decides what someone will buy before they ever speak to a human… you’re not running a service.

You’re running a game.

And the only question that matters in a game like that is: who knows the rules?

See the work in photos

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The OG "kiss cam" executive scandal

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Spent years passing off the work of a female subordinate as his own. Gets overly excited for any excuse to wear a wig.

That's just the tip..

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The smallest man who ever lived...figuratively and literally_edited.jpg

Little lion man..

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The smallest man who ever lived...figuratively and literally_edited.jpg

An unsolicited dick pic from a male coworker in a work WhatsApp chat wasn't on my bingo card... ever..

and yet here we are.

Sleeps with employees.

Testimonials

What people say

"The pros are used to con."...
"It makes sense that you sell hearing aids, because you don't listen."
"If you do not drink the Kool-Aid, you are sidelined — often reassigned to worse lead pools without being told, then gaslit into believing poor outcomes are your fault."

Glassdoor

December 15, 2025

This company gives me the vibes of the movie "Boiler Room," just modified to be a work-from-home opportunity. I walked away from feeling slimy working here, to getting back to operating with integrity. Sleaziest organization award goes to..."

Glassdoor

August 14, 2025

"Binge drinking in the office into the wee hours of a Thursday night is not culture."

Glassdoor

December 29, 2024

Glassdoor

January 23, 2026

A playlist curated during peak absurdity 

You petty

The playlist was the pressure valve. The documentation was the strategy. Both necessary. Only one of them is on Spotify.

Spotify Logo Design

You Petty | Rico Richie, Snootie Wild

IDGAF | Dua Lipa

thank u, next | Ariana Grande

Petty Squad | Star Keisha

Fuck You | CeeLo Green

I Don’t Fuck With You | Big Sean, E-40

Manchild | Sabrina Carpenter

Soy Peor | Bad Bunny

Petty | Snow Tha Product

Smile | Lily Allen

P E To The TTY (I’m Petty) | Dubskie

You’re So Vain | Carly Simon

A collection of stories from chatty skeletons

Truth stranger than fiction

I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart. 

The expensive FAFO

In a functioning organization, a compliance concern from a trusted employee is a gift. You fix the problem before it becomes a lawsuit. You thank the person. You move on. This was not a functioning organization.

What Happens When You Give a Bully a VP Title

The playground

The kid with the magnifying glass burning ants grows up. He just gets a company email address and twelve direct reports.

Four Days, One AirBnB, Zero Functioning Adults

The hackathon chronicles

They called it innovation. The broken furniture called it something else entirely. A dispatch from the frat house that filed a BCG deliverable on Friday morning.

Rainbow Hair Troll

LFG.

Striped Lemon Art

No NDA. 

Receipts

 Retained.

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